Forgiveness, in the traditional sense is hard. You replay pictures, thoughts race negative, and feelings surge unsolicited. Your body pays the stress toll.
Pain memories buried alive affect you first inside. Like a virus the energy moves out to your relationships and life. Unresolved energy blocks, stops and robs your life moments of pervasive love, joy and peace. Who and what the offender did has power over your life. You gave them the keys to lock you up.
Since forgiveness, the way you know it, has not worked… start over. Re-coin ‘forgiveness’. Exchange it for words that work, ‘for I give’. Your part is easier than you thought, be willing to let go. In your mind’s eye, put the pain memory on a movie screen in front of you, put a circle around it and ‘for I give’ it up to God’s recycle bin. A simple prayer: “God, you made them.. take them back.”
Only God/Love changes others when the offender decides to change. You can decide to change now. Offenders are not your problem. You made them your problem by holding them responsible and waiting for them to pay penance, yet you paid.
You cannot change others; you change your own mind and decide to quit paying. The cross is the way, the bridge out of troubled waters, a reminder to let go. The gift of the cross is perfect Love… that heals all. Your part is easy, yet hard. Your part is to will to choose to let go.
‘For I Give’ them up is a choice. Everyone has a free will to let go or hold on. Some continue to hold on for lack of knowing how to let go. To hold on means you give the offender the power to keep you tied to the offense. Letting go is a gift you give to yourself. It sets you free.
Forgiveness is Willing to Let Go, Let God/Love
You cannot change others. Your part is to ‘for I give’ them to the source of healing and unconditional Love . . . God is Love. ‘For I give’ is a state of being that embraces and protects you, not an action or intention toward someone else.
- ‘For I give’ is a choice you make, not contingent on external needs from another person, place or situation.
- ‘For I give’ frees the body to heal. If you even imagine forgiving someone, you show immediate relaxation response in the neo-cortex, the higher brain used to make sense of and give meaning to the world. The body shows immediate improvement in the cardiovascular, muscular and nervous system stress response.
- ‘For I give’ means taking back your life, severing the psychic control you gave to the offender. It frees your mind so you hear Truth that guides your way.
- ‘For I give’ frees your mind to be constructive vs. destructive. It was created to learn from past regrets, to dream future possibilities, and to live thankfully in the present.
- ‘For I give’ replaces rigid thinking. Healthy brains are flexible; they move positions, see from various perspectives to gather new information. You do not have to agree with the offender, but you can see they reacted from a spillover of their unresolved misery. You are freed when you hate the behavior, not their soul.
- ‘For I give’ means you no longer need to hold the offender hostage with your contempt and self-righteousness. You break their hold on you and take back your power by letting them go to God’s Recycle Bin.
- ‘For I give’ can motivate you to make different choices next time. The offender taught you what does not work, so you can make the opposite choice that works
- ‘For I give’ is the greatest revenge. Your life set free.
- ‘For I give’ changes others… when you change they have to change.
- ‘For I give’ is a healing balm. It stretches you to grow, to release the offender to God’s care by faith, even if they do not deserve it. You trust God with the outcome. Perfect Love heals all.
- ‘For I give them’ for they know not what they do.” Jesus – Scriptures. It includes the part of you that participated in the offense. No matter the insanity or intention of your mistake, there is an innocent goal: trying to get your needs met. You tried your best at the time.
- ‘For I give’ makes your brain flexible. You can leave reality where the situation ‘looks’ impossible and practice seeing through God’s eyes. God sees us perfect, in His image, as if we have changed already. On purpose you can make new movies, redirect the movie the way you would have dreamed it to be. The unconscious begins to re-code the memory, releasing you.
- ‘For I give’ not change the past, it enlarges the future, and opens the Present.
Brain Body Balance™ Technique # 3, Pop What Stops You
Use the Brain Body Balance™ Technique #3, Pop What Stops You to instantly erase the way the brain has coded the memory. It’s the most amazing tool for post trauma memories that replay unsolicited. It’s taught nowhere else and it works on all memories.
Pop What Stops You Technique shatters the memory instantly. The related pictures, thoughts and feelings fade making it easy to ‘for I give’ the offender and offense up and redeem your lessons quickly. Your lessons turn the pain into blessings. You pass the grade. You will know you are free when you keep your inside peace and joy with each recall.
Try This Technique, your Brain and Body Will Love it!
1. Find the most painful memory that is taking up valuable brain space and replays without your permission. Put it on a movie screen in front of you in your mind’s eye. Shrink it down into album size. Since the past does not exist and need not take up valuable brain space, place the picture in a filing cabinet off to your left, arms length away, since most brains store the past on the left side. Label it, “past pain memories, pending learning’s”.
2. Your brain gets locked in repetitive reactions to the mere memory of the offense. On purpose, leave reality where the situation appears ‘impossible’ and practice seeing from a higher dimension, see through God’s eyes. It’s like seeing from a hot air balloon that is so high you can see the entire parade of life.
From a higher view, disassociated you can be the director of the event. Be delusional and replay the memory the way God’s/Love’s view would have it to be. Replay a perfect and new scenario with everyone being supportive, loving, kind. Your brain does not know the truth and does not understand time. Use it to your benefit.
Replay the pretend movie each time the negative ‘real’ event intrudes in your mind. The unconscious begins to re-code the memory in a new light, releasing you from the former pain.
Lack of knowing how to ‘for I give’ it up is the number one reason for relationship breakups and conflict. Memories buried alive unresolved make you and your relationship pay. These days few commit and those who do split.
Check out our report available now: 7 New Relationship Tips: How to Find Love and Keep It at www.brainbodybalance.com. Get the report and receive an invitation to our free upcoming webinar: “We, Me or Be?” New relationship tips and techniques are needed to keep pace with our fast changing world.
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